Letters to a Christian God, A Series

Dear Supposed God of Abraham,

I’m writing to inform you that I am concerned.  Concerned, and selfishly so, because I have not yet been convinced of your existence.  This comes, assumedly, as no surprise to you, as it’s been suggested to me that one of your qualities is omniscience.  In any case, throughout my walk of life I have been propositioned with many items that have been unconvincing, this is true.  But many of these items have appeared benign in nature, or at least of much lesser importance than what would be at stake if your existence were to be a fact.  It is apparent within your prescribed literature, that being convinced of your existence is a rather important part of avoiding the ever so harsh penalty that you reserve for humans like myself, the ‘unconvinced’ ones.  This is especially troubling when taking into consideration the many ways there are to die, suddenly and without warning, which at this point would leave me in the category of those who will be victim to your eternal damnation judgement, hence the selfishness.  So to close, being as it is that an agreeable claim about you is your omniscience, and that your omniscience would necessitate that you know exactly what it would take to convince me (because there is nothing you don’t know, right?), and assuming that it would be laughably easy for you, a god, to impart to me this knowledge that you know would convince me, well, I’m open to this and I’m waiting for this revelation.  And it’s not as if it’s at all difficult to convince me of anything that is a true fact, anyway.  This should be a cakewalk for you, god.  — Jason

p.s. — did this letter reach you?  i figured that because of your omniscience you would have already known what i was about to write, and would have already transmitted to me the evidence and knowledge i require to be convinced of your existence.

p.p.s. — still have not received any convincing info.


2 thoughts on “Letters to a Christian God, A Series

  1. Hey, what’s good bro? Sorry it took so long to get back to you, being omniscient is a hard job especially since the universe’s blackest coffee beans have died out.

    I’m not a magician or something bro, if I start doing wacky shit to prove my existence for one person, everyone will expect it, and I’m not about that life. So for now you gotta settle for this message. Broadband in the omniverse is dope as hell, like Google fiber on steroids.

    Yours Truly,
    Big G the Omneezy

    P.S: .. yall got the whole ‘eternal damnation for non believers’ thing twisted, do you think an omniscient being wants to be burdened with a near infinite stream of forever tortured souls all the time? Just keep being a chill dude and we’re solid.


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